i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
