he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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