I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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