sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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