Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
