soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
