We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
