Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
