im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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