I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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