i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
