32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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