i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
