I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
