Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
