So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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