There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
