Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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