I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
