Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
