that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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