if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
