I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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