i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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