need another drink. this is the easiest way
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
