? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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