I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Acid is not a monday night drug
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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