My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
