You made me cry and you don't even care
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
