I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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