is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
