I wish I could punch you in the face.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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