Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
