i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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