Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
