# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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