oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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