I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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