GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
