Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
