He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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