just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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