How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
