Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
