Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
