her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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