eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
