Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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