He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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