Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
please come you make the beer taste better
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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