I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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