I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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