Welp...herpes.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
