He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
